points of clarification. faith is not limited to religion, it’s simply a human habit. i emphasized that i’m anti-theist, not anti-deist. this means i am open to the concept of a higher power or whatever… it’s about connections we have with each other and how life flows. i don’t know and i’m comfortable with that.

my anti-theism simply refers to the books and dogma. i don’t believe any of them are the word of god. they are simply the words of people who wish to know the “mind of god”. believing in a santa claus-like god who keeps a list of who’s naughty or nice… no, sorry.

also downloading as i type. loving it liz and dani

[JCF, snarky Episcopalian---who, truthfully, when not currently obsessing about Otalia, is obsessing about how my Church is dealing w/ LGBT issues right this minute at our triennial General Convention, happening by Disneyland---f'real---in Anaheim. If you're so inclined, pray 'em if you got 'em?]

Re Olivia being able to TRUST Natalia again, I’ve got a little helpful hint…

BITCHES, MAKE OUT!!!

Downloading #13 as I type…

i understand the anger, i just don’t agree. i can’t call the pregnancy a cliche because i have no idea how it ends and i’m left scratching my head, asking–don’t we need to know that in order to call it cliche?

my faith isn’t really in the writers. i agree that it’s not all in their hands. i have enjoyed what they’ve done, but i’ve never thought that they’ll always get it right. i just don’t need them to get it all right. i think my faith is actually in me and my capacity to find the beauty even within the crap piled on the gold. and no we shouldn’t accept everything we’re given, PLEASE critique the s/l… hell, that’s a big part of why i come here.

my faith is also just in… damn, i don’t know, life… ??? that eventually good happens but only if we stick around to witness it. and yeah, sometimes it means trudging through crap. though it doesn’t mean we have to sit and take crap and abuse, i just mean it exists. in this case i simply think the past efforts by the makers of this show have earned it a longer look.

that’s all i wanted to say so this is me shuttin’ up now.

But don’t ever feel like Dani or I would ever allow someone to argue with someone else here. We don’t always hit our mark of positivity- but fun we do. And respect. So even though I’m all about member moderation and shit- I’m also all about we respect everyone- including peeps we don’t agree with. I really do appreciate every dissenting opinion we get. I don’t really like talking AT people (which, I know, ironic since I have a podcast and thats what a podcast basically is), I like talking WITH people. So I love this interaction and dialogue. It would be super boring if every email and comment we got agreed with us. We wouldn’t want that. We like friends, not followers. So different opinions, as long as they remain respectful- are not only allowed but vehemently encouraged. So yeah, don’t be afraid to voice an opinion here.
XO

’tis true you can interpret that july 4th montage as a ringing endorsement of heteroworld and a blatant “see, see, look at those sad pathetic lesbos!” but here’s what i saw. aside from some great acting from both cc and jl, i saw a wonderful REBUKE of the catholic church (and most other churches actually). maybe this is because i’m anti-theist (no atheist is not enough but i would argue it’s much more than that. the first words out of nat’s mouth were not “i’m preggers, what shall i do?” it was “what is worse, fuckin’ a dude outside of marriage or LOVING a woman?” father bray told her it was not punishment from god, but at the same time he pushed her to run away from liv. to me the message (from jlh & ew) was that god is okay with this, it’s the church that’s fucked up. i’m thinking back to nat and father bray’s first conversation on the matter. father bray agreed that the scripture IS open to interpretation BUT the church is NOT. bray is simply providing the voice of many churches/religions, NOT the voice of god. and i think that’s incredibly important. jlh’s writing for nat was fantastic. she was using the bible to shut down the church’s bullshit (didn’t you point that out?)

so cut to the july 4th picnic. sf’s newest, and what should have been the happiest couple, is miserable, lost, and in devastating pain. you’re right, it’s an unbelievably powerful juxtaposition. but you CAN”T take it out of context–well you can, but i’m calling you on it what about everything that came before it? what about all the other issues jlh raised only to shoot them down? you think that she’s abandonning them now?!? if that day was the first one i ever tuned in, i would totally agree with you, but NO! sorry i just don’t buy it. to my mind what is being said in that montage is…. life and love is for everyone, regardless of who we are so embrace it because it is fleeting–as phillip can attest to (that’s why he’s at the centre of it all and we know clearly that he is totally in favour of otalia!) but sometimes bullshit gets in the way and if we buy it we will be miserable.

how differently would the picnic have unfolded if nat had simply gone to liv instead of eyebrows? and why did she go where she did? this was NOT a reversal of character, this was the culmination of nat at her religious worst, some serious slippage on her part. and liv has slipped plenty of times. how hard is it really to simply say to the one you love (whom you know loves you and children) “i’m pregnant”? it’s not hard, unless you believe that god sees you as innately bad.

we know they will have a happy ending, so why this? sorry, but i’m not willing to dismiss it as bad writting (though in the end it certainly could be). to me they’re sending a clear message… it’s not really people that are the problem–we’re all in this pile of poo together. the problem is that we thoughtlessly accept the disourses/ideologies (the ones that permeate our existence and help structure and colour our reality) without ever asking if they are true or right for us. to me that’s best exemplified when nat tries to explain everything to rafe. he asks her why everything she taught him as a child no longer counts and she has no real answer. why? because she has never given her faith any serious critical consderation before falling in love with liv. she bought it all and therefore couldn’t help but raise a homophobe and now she’s oddly baffled by this fact. what the hell else could she have expected if she raised him by catholic or most other religious teachings?

for otalia, the church is their greatest stumbling block… it’s rafe, it’s natalia’s past pregnancy, it’s nat’s current fears, it’s nat’s willingness to turn everything over to her god rather than making her own fucking decisions (duuuuuhhhhh, the lord helps those who help themselves). she already knows what’s right and true for her, but that dogma keeps nagging at her. to me the message is, fuck dogma! consider the sappy theme song… “only love can save the world”.

my belief is that, somewhat ironically, nat has gone away to finally think critically about her beliefs. yeah, she said she was good with god before, but it was way too quick and easy for her to toss aside a lifetime of submissiveness and fear and i don’t think she was really able to separate god from the church (notice i said anti-theist, not anti-deist).

final deep breath.

as nat simply stated a while back. “perception is reality”. if you have already decided this storyline twist is terrible i suspect you will be hard pressed to see much good in it. i never cared either way if she was pregnant. maybe i’m wearing rose-coloured glasses or drinking the purple koolaid (really quite patronizing i must say), or maybe i’m just not willing to ignore how jlh operated in the previous several months. is it possible she fucked this up? sure, she’s human. does nat have a helluva pile of making up to do when she gets back in a very short period of time? yep. but maybe we could remember that liv is a woman who very nearly died and was literally kept going by the woman she is now in love with. surely she can allow for some fuckups so forgiveness can come quickly. trust is more of a challenge but is hardly impossible, especially with an acknowledgement of and change of circumstances and an open heart.

and one final point. what i find most fascinating about all this is that ellen wheeler, the one everyone complained wouldn’t let this romance go on because of her religious beliefs, is not only behind it, but supporting such a critical take on the church. you could argue that she’s okay with it because it’s the catholics not the mormons, but after the prop 8 fallout, is there really a difference? the very choice of natalia as olivia’s love interest was a strong hint that there is more to this story than titillation or simplistic moralizing. all i’ve ever wanted was to watch the story unfold. there have been plenty of things i’ve disliked but i’ve always found the larger picture to be satisfying. yeah, the lack of kissing is ridiculous, but i think it’s just pregnancy logistics i.e. if jl wasn’t pregnant they would have kissed sooner. but time is running out and i’d like to be there for the final kick–ya never know what beauty could unfold. seriously at some point you either just quit or allow for some faith in the possibilities. since disappointment is the worst case scenario here, it seems to me it’s worth taking the chance.

i look forward to your next podcast.

but really, i have no interest in arguing on this, it’s all been said before. i will simply add that your point about all the happy hetero couples on july 4th juxtaposed with the miserable lesbian couple is rather short-term thinking. half of these freaks could be dead, in jail, or otherwise miserable in the next couple months. liv and nat could end up being the only happy couple left standing.

Kristy- I support your love of Lana. She is way cooler than us. And I love first grade. Even if Frank starts being awesome, his shirt will still be ugly and his hair will still be stupid. Love you Frank D!
And Eiffel Tower! You would soooo win!! Just email them to liz at pancakesandavalium.com

XO

Quote: He’s basically saying “What do you expect? God always gives lesbians the stomach flu, bitch. Now give me another goddamned cookie, sinner!”

Lana – There are no words. You’re my favorite.

Sidenote: Can someone get Father Ray some chapstick? His lips look like he ate a bucket of sunflower seeds on a deserted tropical island.

Liz, I love that you were just generally pissy and regressed back to first grade playground antics by giving Frank a compliment, but then completing crapping all over it with “your hair is stupid and your shirt is ugly.” Awesome.

What is the deal with pictures? I travel all over. Going to Paris in a couple of weeks, actually. Eiffel Tower anyone?

I love you all. You’re my new best friends. Call me every five minutes.