Factotum: AND THEN LIZ SAID THAT SHE WOULD MAYBE SLEEP WITH JOSH
Lana: What? Eeeewwwwww, not Josh!
Factotum: THAT’S WHAT DANI JUST SAID
Lana: Yeah, she probably said hotsnack too. For some reason she’s allowed to get away with it.
Factotum: (under breath)Sshh, now I have to rewind it again. Save your commentary for the comments.

I have to say, all the kiddies lusting after CC does give me some hope! [Ooops, did I just disclose that I'm a Big Ol' Perv? :-X Hey, our eyes are even about the same color, and unlike La Chappell w/ the husband and kids, *I* am EXTREMELY available. So settle already! ;-p]

Holding on, barely, until the 17th (And it IS the 17th, right? Or is there any remaining hope for an earlier return for Our Dimples?) Thank God for that Twitter pic yesterday, at this point it’s the ONLY thing making the wait bearable…

3. You’re welcome.

4. Sloppy editing. Thats why.

6. Ranting = typos. You should see my slop of a mess I call notes anymore.

XO

“start ranting” not “starting ranting”

Damn these lightning fast typing fingers!

…and since lists are awesome:

1) I literally fast forward through every single scene not containing an “O” or a “Talia” and that’s it. I’ve tried to watch other storylines, I swear I have…but this show is really, really terrible. I can be a little bit judgey sometimes, but everyone else on this show is stupid and ugly. So, when you guys starting ranting about other characters, I just kind of glaze over, and say “Who is Mel and why would I want to see her in leather?”

I am sad though that the longest running soap is going off air. I feel like this marks the first significant death in this genre and I feel like ABC may follow suit in the next couple of years.

2) Robert Newman is 51 and CC turns 44 next week. (Thank you Wikipedia!)

*quickly does math to determine self oldness*

I’m 29, so Robert Newman could totally be my dad. I’m cutting it pretty close to CC, but I suppose biologically, she could have mothered me. My grandparents probably would have forced her to put me up for adoption, in which case I would’ve grown up…and then lusted after my own birth mother which is sick and wrong, but totally not my fault because the adoption records are sealed and I don’t know who my birth mother is.

3) “It’s Frank and his stupid Penis’ fault.” – Thank you, Liz.

4) Olivia goes in to take a shower and then we see her in the same outfit with the same hair in the police station. That entire scene and the setup was so completely bizarre and random that I convinced myself that I missed an entire segment and had to rewind to check. Why? Why didn’t she take the shower?

5) That baby was kicking Ashley’s ass…and it was hilarious. He was pulling her hair and completely distracting her. She looked like she wanted to throw him on the floor.

BTW – I too, have read that Natalia is back next week.

*checks breath…awaits kiss*

Lana, I would have much preferd Liv handcuff Blake and poke her until she talked. Much more believable. And you probs are old enouogh to be my parent. I like old people. Tell me, is it hard to listen to us with ahearing aide?

Ashlee- I love when Dani gets all reflective and final thoughty on us.

Toasty buddy – Those glasses were banging. And Reva always makes me laugh. “She punched that picture of Jeffrey in the face.”

Tallulah – I promised Bakes Id watch it, and since she is so rad to me, I can sacrifice two boobless hours to her I suppose. Dani will have to make up for it.

Maggie- I do remember that. I still dont know, but I will take it. The woman is perfection from head to toe, so any likeness y’all see I will humbly appreciate.

Dear Porter- You know what you did to earn your dead to me status. But I have reached into the cold empty pit that used to hold my heart and pulled up a scrap of forgveness for you. Try not to waste it or I’ll break your kneecaps.

Hey Dom- I hate Rafe with the fire of a thousands suns right now. Ugh. And Im not sure what up with Olivia right now, but its disapointing. Very disapointing.

Dani- Im adding that to the list.

Nathalie- Reasons I love you.
a. You’re my fav picture ho.
2. You get all Paul Buchman with your list making.
c. Team Bitches Make Out rocks the Wii tennis.
4. You said you’d teach me to surf, even though you know I’ll probably pass out in the ocean and die if I actually did surf.
d. You’re the only person in the world who wont tell me to shut up when I whine for the 4,000 time how much I miss non evil Natalia.
5. That I will put the bumper back on for you next week. Or sometime soon anyway.

Rikita- ‘Getting the vapors’ Bwahahahaha!!! We’ll always find something to snark at.

Melanie (and Lana) I’ll have you know I know and have seen the Dick Van Dyke show. So And also, Gina T is another who would be completely gorgeous in no make up and a burlap sack. Meow that woman is effortlessly amazing.

Kristeena- If you are right and Nat is back next week I will kiss you on the mouth!

XO

On a more happy note supposedly Jess’s first episode back airs on the 4th which hopefully will be next tuesday.

The only way I’ll watch anything on CBS during the GL time slot is if they air reruns of Allan Luden hosting Password, with Betty White as a guest.

I am in the “Robert Newman is totally hot camp” and while I love Grant A and his effortless acting, he just doesn’t wear a pair of pants as well as RN. Although reading my post, it would appear that I have a thing about pants.

Finally, let me clarify from last week that Gina T’s false eyelashes in no way detract from all of her other assets and her general on-screen awesomeness. Dani, I just worry that perhaps you’ll be taken in one of these days by a painted lady with designs on you and as one of the elder generation I just want you to keep your wits about you. Things can look much different in morning light.

Signing off as someone proud to be born in the same year as CC.

Thanks for snarking the week that was so well. Almost makes the trip through pain and depression bearable.

I’m all for choose your adventure with the likes of GT,JL and CC. Finally someone somewhere using all of that god given talent properly.